Long Beach_Gran Prix_039 – toyota daytona beach

Long Beach_Gran Prix_039


Image by jellyjams
This car won the Daytona Prototype Race.

– toyota daytona beach

www.daytonamercedes.com Mercedes-Benz of Daytona 1720 Mason Avenue Daytona Beach, FL 32117 800-430-7930 Year: 2009 Make: Toyota Model: Camry Engine: 2.4L I-4cyl Trans.: 5-Speed Automatic Exterior: Desert Sand Mica Miles: 10580 Interior: Bisque w/Meteor Fabric Seat Trim
Video Rating: 0 / 5

– toyota daytona beach

Long Beach_Gran Prix_060


Image by jellyjams
This is the eventual winner of the Daytona Prototype Class race braking for Turn 1.

Question by Seth Mane: Is this story and example of a short story? If not what do i need to add(short story wise -spelling punctation?
I cover my sheets over my head, as I ignore me dad’s screams. It was way too early for me to even be functioning at this time. “Get up Robert, we have to leave! Get you bags and go have some breakfast,” Exclaimed my mom. I sighed and went downstairs. I had woken up to the smell of strawberries, cereal, and vanilla coffee at 5: am.
As drowsy as I was I had dunked my head into my cereal and as I was picking it up I had recovered my memory. I realized that today I was going to Florida. My parents had bought a house by Daytona and I couldn’t wait for the beach, sun, gym, and pool but there was one thing. We were going to drive there! Without heavy traffic the car ride would be estimated to about 34 hours. That was a long ride considering the fact that I had lived in Portland, New Hampshire. “Robert get your head out of the cereal and go get ready.” stated Mom. I had thumped up the stairs to go pack my bags, brush my teeth, and change, I had then come downstairs. I grabbed a few pillows and a blanket for the long ride and I went to go sit in the back of my Toyota 4Runner.
The next thing I knew my dog Jackie had been licking me in the face, Jackie was a Jack Russell Terrier so, he needed a lot of attention, and my parents brought him because he could not leave him home alone for a week. “How many miles did we drive so far,” I exclaimed. “We drove 102 miles so far” stated Dad. Every time be drove 50 miles that navigation system would make a small beep. I was still exhausted, so I went back to bed hoping that I can just wake up and we will be in Florida.
By the time I had waken it we had drove 219 miles. My dad had stopped at a gas station for a bathroom break and gas. I went inside with .33 and I came out with Honey BBQ Fritos. When I got back to the car I ate my food as slowly as possible just too waste time. Eventually the bag of Fritos ran out, so I just watched my some movies I rented on my DVD player. I had spent about 3 hours watching my DVD player, because of the fact that I had gotten I headache due to the fact of the bumpy car ride on the freeway.
I counted every minute, mile, and hour I had been on this ride. I would do everything really slow and long just to waste time. I felt like a prisoner, and I just wanted to get out for some fresh air. I needed to go out and stretch my legs or do something, anything. “Robert, we are about 22 miles away from out hotel” exclaimed my dad. I was so relieved that I was getting out of the car; it was like a huge boulder was lifted from my shoulders. I was happy that we were going to continue the rest of the ride for tomorrow.
“We are here Robert, you can finally get out,” Hollered my Mom. As a had stepped out of the car my knees felt like I had just ran a mile, I had not stretched them or even walked for about 8 hours! As my parents were checking in the Holiday Inn I was taking Jackie out, to pee. This was the only hotel in this area of North Carolina that allowed pets. After Jackie was done I went inside and followed my parents to my room.”Room 133,” my Dad yawned. As I saw the green light come up as the card was slide on the door I had felt a big relief of satisfaction. As soon as the door had opened I just laid down on the bed. I felt great to be on a normal bed, it felt like I was in that car forever.
That morning I had been wide awake, and I had bursted out of bed. At first I thought that this was a good thing but, now I knew I couldn’t sleep in the car. At was 7: am and I was starting to feel hungry so we ate at an Ihop across the street. I had ordered the strawberry stuffed French toast with orange juice. The rest of the car ride was not so dreadful. I didn’t have a long way to go and I knew what was waiting for me once I got to my house. I spent my last hours in the car watching “Super Bad” and looking out the window. “Robert five more miles left so clean up all of your garbage,” Exclaimed Mom. As I cleaned up my garbage, I was distracted from the different style of the town.
I could hear the 4Runner pull up on the drive way. “We had made it Robert we are finally here,” yelled Dad. Those were the words that I wanted to hear all along. I knew what was waiting for me once I unpacked my bags. I had a pool, beach, and a gym all by me. I no longer had to worry about long car rides, for until I had to go back home.

Best answer:

Answer by Beetroot Yourself
With respect I don’t think people are going to go through that much text at once for you. The length fits with that of a short story.

Just glancing over it it’s littered with mistakes and would take me too long to correct (that’s before I even started on the punctuation).

Just quickly, some things don’t make sense:

You don’t go back to “bed” when you’re in a car
You say “my Toyota”, it wasn’t yours’ it was your parents’.
You don’t really awaken to the “smell” of cereal or strawberries
Wrong use of the word “stated” (stated my mom)
“How many miles did we drive so far?” should be; how many miles have we “driven” so far?. Answer “we’ve driven…” (not “we drove”)

Stop using the word “had” all the time e.g:

As I had stepped out of the car
I had lived in Portland
I had woken up
I had dunked my head into my cereal

Should be:

I stepped out of the car
I lived in Portland
I woke up
I dunked my head in my cereal etc etc..

I only did the first little bit.

Add your own answer in the comments!

Auto Racing Capsules: Bayne says docs don’t know what caused symptoms
Concord, N.C. 1. (2) Brad Keselowski, Dodge, 192.089 mph. 2. (43) A J Allmendinger, Ford, 191.693. 3. (99) Carl Edwards, Ford, 191.686.
Read more on The Brownsville Herald